passing notes

dear married in mississippi:

thanks for the phone call the other day. and the offer to impregnate me and leave your wife to be with me. part of me, yes, still loves who i think you could be, but that's not enough for me. i deserve better.

always, faith


dear dumb-ass FB in illinois:

when i fired you the other day and told you to 'lose my phone number,' i meant it. i've never actually said that at the end of a fling, but i think it was inspired by your "people are chess pieces/puppets/available at every moment for me" speech. if you hadn't been such an asshole, you might still be getting some.

stay away from me AND my tailor. grrarg


dear chicago:

last year, when we officially met, your father had just died, and you blew me off for, oh, quite a while. it's funny. now that you've called again and i see that the chemistry's still there, i find myself wondering what might have been. but i'm really not willing to settle for drive-by dick again. ever. so, don't call again unless you want more than a piece of ass.

peoria


dear vegas-bound man:

yes, i see you. were you surprised when i asked you if you loved me the other night? all we needed were refills (because the waitress was a bitch), but flirting with you was fun. when we recounted the story of how we saved the day with more drinks to the rest of the table, one of the others murmured, "if she only knew..." so, if that's the case, WTF? where's your backbone, buddy? tease, tease, tease and then... vegas in the spring. get on it.

the band's roadie


dear faith:

decided that i don't want to be with a man at this moment. as i say whenever i start this phase over, men make life messy. and, quite frankly, my life is messy enough right now, thank you very much. just remember that.

love, faith