Night, Death, Mississippi

I wrote this in yesterday's studio time for the creative writing class that I teach. I need help revising - please post any responses or thoughts in the comments section. Thanks! CFA


Night, death, Mississippi
calls to Hayden
calls to Nimp
who calls to me when
I text-tag
him

the epitome of all that is
Delta. blues and blacks
the colors of the Crypt - they walk
at night, bodies
breathing smoky clouds of Lucky's and grass.
the streets, covered in
blood and sex, while neighbors sleep through both.

he watches
the boy-man that he used to be
he -

who shaved his locks because she would not braid them,
who breathed hospital air for two weeks without a word,
who stood alone, ignored by the One who forgot
him.