the dirty delta
19 hours (the majority of which he spent sleeping) after arriving in the delta, the dog has fleas. he didn't have them before we left peoria, he didn't get them on the trip... so he must have adopted them in our bug-infested (albeit beautiful) backyard. turns out the vet was right. we did need the flea-killing medication. ick, ick, ick. fyi, this is probably fairly disgusting to some of my readers at home... but it's kind of like cockroaches in your house. just because you have them, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're dirty... sometimes it just means that you live in, well, the delta.
in other news, life feels very bizarre lately. this whole summer's made me feel a little bit off-kilter. i feel like i'm dancing around between being a college kid and being a grown up and that there's a checklist that i need to have completed before i accept my grown-up status. have i been socialized to believe that? yes, absolutely, in a general sense. do i acknowledge that the checklist isn't necessary? sure. do i still feel this way? yes.
when i was young, i remember being amazed at how old my mom was when she had me. i'm exactly the same age as she was, down to the month, and i still feel completely unprepared to bring a chid into this world most of the time. if i got pregnant right now (which i won't because i just said goodbye to the good boy and ditched the friend with benefits - smart move on the second one, actually), would i keep the baby? umm... probably, but i'd be terrified. i'd be concerned that i'd hold something wrong and break the baby. these are things you think about when your sister-friend turns up pregnant after a random wedding hookup, only the third time she's ever had sex. that's some scary, grow-you-up-in-a hurry shit. you find yourself looking at a friend's baby and wondering if you could deal with raising her on your own, with all of the baby toys and poopy diapers and love and affection that goes with being a parent. ah, well, inconsequential thoughts, really. i'm not pregnant, nor will i be anytime soon, despite my parents' almost-palpable desire for grandchildren. sorry, dear readers, just thinking aloud, as it were.