i've been thinking about old boyfriends - one, specifically - lately. see, our plan was that i was supposed to marry the boy, move to the south, and teach in a teacher-shortage area. so, here i am, in the south, FINALLY teaching, and working with the student population that i wanted to work with, and it's two years later (which means that i'm supposed to be WAY over him), and i find myself thinking that something's missing. there's this song by the dixie chicks that talks about wondering if a house would have been a home with the person the singer loved, and i've been thinking about those lyrics a lot recently. and it's not that i'm unhappy; this experience has been the best, most fulfilling of my life. but a small part of me still wonders about the "home" factor. it actually pisses me off a little bit because i AM supposed to be over him, but i guess that's the "you never really get over your first love" factor. it just makes me curious as to whether he's over me or not. anyway, "home" by the dixie chicks is dedicated to the boy in question. thank you, casey casem.

this would be a good "blow bubbles into oblivion while watching the clouds become new creatures" day. here's hoping that you've found your home, a place and a person who can give you the independence, the unconditional love and the intellectual and spiritual stimulation that you deserve. love from mississippi... me