i love living in the delta...

kind of an interesting piece of trivia for anybody who does not live in the delta. did you know that living in the delta can make a person physically ill? how funny is that? so, i've been coughing my lungs out for the past week, and it finally got to the point yesterday where i couldn't even talk because my throat was so raw. today, my voice comes out as kind of a raspy whisper. it would be sexy if i weren't physically disgusting, what with the blowing of the nose and the coughing up of the mucous. yuck. so, i went to the doctor today, who said that it had started off as an allergic reaction to the poisons that are put into the air daily by the crop-dusters (to kill mosquitos, bugs and weeds) and that it had developed into an infection that needed medication. fantastic. definitely laughable and somewhat ironic.

i had my first great church-going experience since being down in mississippi. two days ago, i went with one of my students to her church. it's a small, missionary-baptist church, located on the way to greenville. by small, i mean it's a one-room church. it was awesome! okay, so it was long (2 hours) and a little too laying-of-the-hands-on-for-healing for me, but they had great music and a great message. i'm definitely going back. it's interesting to me, being down here. i find myself seeking friendships and community with blacks over whites. i have weird trust issues with the whites down here (in that i don't trust them not to be negative about who or where i'm teaching, since that seems to be the general disposition of the people in this town), and i adore my students, so the choice was fairly easy. i'm reading this book (called in the heart's deep core) by a former TFA in greenville, and he says that eventually you have to choose between the whites and the blacks. i guess i've made my choice. how could i make a different one, when my students have been so warm and loving and the white community here has been distant from everything related to my school and my students? how could i choose otherwise when my family raised me to love and respect people of all races and backgrounds, when this community is split in two? i feel a little defensive about the whole thing, but i find myself attracted to the culture and the community that i find with my students. and, seriously, i start overlooking white guys because i've started to label them (which isn't cool on my part) and have started watching for black men, who seem to find plus-size women attractive. many over-generalizations in this paragraph, but it's honestly how i'm feeling right now. does anybody else feel this way? erin? amber? heather? amy? anybody?

btw, i'm reading a great book right now, for you bookworms out there. it's called grace matters - i'd recommend it to a handful of people (especially people who like to read about race issues, community, and faith - lizzie, you might like it, even right now). okay, you guys, email me and tell me that all of this weird cultural stuff is natural. or tell me that i'm a freak. whatever. =) love to all. faith