i think i'm burning out. yesterday was another shitty-ass day. i got called insubordinate by the principal because i gave two students a pass that i shouldn't have. then, i had to write up two students for being dumb-asses, which i'll probably get in trouble for tomorrow because i waited a day to do something about it. and the students - especially one little bastard in particular - are talking about it, which undermines my credibility with them. everything is everybody's business here. i hate the discipline office, because it makes everything public information, because it's a public hearing, a public punishment. it's ridiculous. and then, to top it off, i got in a fight with heather because i'm frustrated and she's being a twit. she called me passive aggressive, which really pissed me off. she treats me like a second-class friend, and then she expects me not to be hurt and angry and to just take it as part of our friendship. well, i'm sorry, but that's bullshit. she needs to learn that she can't run all over people that she dares to call her friends. and i totally agree with the concept that you can't be best friends with 20 people. HOWEVER, you can treat all 20 with respect, and you can have a core group of friends that you have a close friendship with. passive aggressive, my ass. right now i just feel aggressive.

part of my deal, admittedly, is that i don't have that one person that i can be "best friends" with down here. when the "group" splits off, amber and heather (and john) naturually go together. erin and amy naturally go together. and then there's me. and it sucks. i don't feel valuable at all within this group. woe is me, i know, i know. but it just doesn't sit well when i don't seem to fit well at school either. maybe i'm just not right for mississippi.