i just went off about our family (my extended family) to my cousin. i turned into a big ol' anger ball at her. said that i hated the applegate side of our family and didn't want them mentioned in my presence (she'd mentioned them something like 23 times already... in four hours - 2.5 of which were spent in a MOVIE). said that i didn't claim them anymore. she's such a fucking middle-of-the-road person. three years after all of this shit is settled and she still won't take sides, which - to me - says that she's taking their side. fucking canadians, always trying to be neutral, even when it's something as personal as famiy betrayal. they were my first huge betrayal; you don't forget the details that come with the much disappointment., and it doesn't become easier. it's like a big, gaping wound that gets scraped raw again every time somebody mentions them. i hate them, hate them. they fucking destroyed our lives for three years and NOBODY in her goddamned family even blinked. do you know that i cried driving to school every day during that time? every fucking day i cried when i was alone, driving, just so i could be strong for the rest of my family... so my father wouldn't see how their betrayal was destroying me, how it hurt all of us. and all she can say is "well, i heard that there was some disagreement." AAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!!
